A Social Network for Men with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue or Pain
Bad energy feeds bad feelings...
This was my wife and I... Never anything productive and cold feelings at best going back and forth.... Mainly back at me. Enough... My son and I are much happier now... Been what seems like forever since I've been on here. Pain and pills still issues, but healthier for getting out of an unhealthy relationship.
Went out on a real date tonight.... Talked about real feelings and it was just that.. A date... An adult, non sexual, conversational, getting to know someone date. My wife and I are separated an I moved out into an apartment... Such a hard choice... I believe in marriage, don't get me wrong, but I'm no bodies escape goat, nor is my child. Needless to say her Ex husband and her child has always ruled the roost to one degree or another... I thought we had moved beyond that, but obviously NOT. I won't live in someone else's shadow, nor will I have my son do the same. Sick how careless people are with emotions, saying I Love You and meaning... Whatever. I'm saddened by the lack of communication both verbally and physically that people put into "marriage", when they are obvious not ready for such conviction. For better or for wose seems to only mean when it's better for one. And the hard times... Like when I stopped taking all my meds... And she went and stayed in a hotel... Well Hell... That's where we were and stayed... In Hell... One of the things we all have to do, with Fibro or not, is to check ourselves... Our relationships... See if something isn't healthy, then seek help.... Those who deny they need help, are usually denying much much more, including what faith they have, if it be with God, or anyone or anything else.
I refuse to be smothered in a dead relationship... I wanted to be happy and move on... So that is what I'm not doing... After weeks, I have met a friend, yes, female, and it is one day at a time... Truly becoming friends instead of pretending we were while the focus was always with someone else. I'm proud and shouting out loud... I'm being Healthier now, for myself, for my child and for my new friend that give me strength and allows me to share the same. No I'm not allowing my heart to flow with the wind. I'm taking a stand. Even if my new friend and I remain no more than friends... It will be real and a relationship I am happy that it is honest and healthy. Thank the Lord.
Karl (And I thank myself for opening up my eyes!)
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Comment by Karl Wegener on April 28, 2011 at 6:59pm -
Been Single Dad and liking it better for a year now.. No drama, no affairs... Son was doing better until his mother wigged out as she's divorcing number two. My health has taken a dive... No longer working.. lost nearly 30 lbs, Custody crap I never wanted... Never ends... I'm at end stage meds... Morphine... infusion port next option I'd really rather not... Morphine drip in the body. Pool therapy... vision loss. Feel like I just aged 10 years... No tennis, golf, therapy... I'm currently struggling with Pleuracy and Mom's lawyer wants me to surrender my privacy so he can have access to my medical history... AS IF.... And as if I need this stress right now... Paperwork for FOC, DHS, SSDI... I can hardly breath and when I do... rub those ribs with the dry lung... ouch. Am I to be so punished because I care for my child? So be it... Bring it... I'll just keep taking that one more step forward. Even if it hurts like hell. Second steroid injection in a week, second B12 too. Ceftriaxone - Antibiotic injection... Trying to get back to Nucyenta, not Lucenta... At times I felt that I could do much more... More functional.... Went through bad times with the fentynal patch... And one more Breath in... AAaaaaaaa.....aaa...aaaa owweee. After pool therapy, I get to do stretches and physical therapy in the days ahead... Fibro Freakin Fatigue... Co Q 10 (400mg) is cool... Boost the body good... Worked in Respiratory at a Hospital in Lansing for a few years.. Made good money, had to leave, exposed to TB and MRSA... K.O. punches... Have been working a job for a year at 7.40 an hour... Now, I was out on FMLA, now some local (State) help and that's it... Mom isn't interested in paying support and fighting the State. Attacking my health when I can get better her lawyer may have me arrested on Friday for failure to show up to his B.S... What kind of law is this? Child's best interest bull shit. Mom's pretty pretty pocket book can't be tarnished... Deadbeat... All I can think of. Not stepping up for our child and attacks my health... Don't understand... I was removed from the work force... Not fatherhood.
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Comment by Adrian Hugh Maasdorp on April 28, 2011 at 4:26pm -
Some say mental illness is all in the mind and neropathic pain doesnt wear you down cold turkey often as dont want to develope dependency on larazapam which is a cure for many woes Jesus bless our pain love adrian
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Comment by Karl Wegener on April 8, 2011 at 8:28pm
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Thanks for the comments everyone... I'm being pulled off any kind of work... Multiple issues in addition to Fibro are causing me to go from working as a Respiratory Therapy Assistant to Medicaid. Lost my house, lost my second wife and step son after a little more than a year, if you want to call it that... This is a whole new world and oddly enough... The poorer I've become.. The more time I've had with my child. I feel blessed. I'm on Morphine now... Seems to be the end game plan for treatment... Had a slew of them, from PT, OT, Pool therapy, steriod injections in the neck, two electrical stimulator trials along the neck in the spine, a Rhyziotomy (nerve burning), and perhaps an morphine infusion port next...
Maybe I might be able to get Nucynta again, maybe... This did not make me dopey... felt almost like a kick start of energy after fatigue issues and sleep issues about did me in... but this med has been denied by my last health plan because it wasn't included in the plan the company purchased... woof. Accepting positive thoughts and prayers... Thank, Karl
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Comment by Karl Wegener on April 8, 2011 at 8:17pm
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Update... Moved a year ago March, out of the married house and was divorced last Aug... She couldn't take the meds, couldn't give up her ex hubby or another old flame who she's currently with... Never stood a fighting chance. She was hurtful and unkind at times so my child and I are better off.
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Comment by Jaymz Mathew on March 9, 2011 at 10:55am
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Best of luck and BRAVO
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Comment by Adrian Hugh Maasdorp on September 21, 2010 at 6:03pm
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First you took my life ,then you took my wife -you're quite a devil
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Comment by Hans Miniar Jónsson on May 17, 2010 at 5:45am -
Sometimes, one of the hardest things we do, is look at the relationship we're in, and realize it's not good any more.
Love isn't blind, the need to be "with" someone can override our senses. Be it fueled by pride or some preconceived notion of fairytale love leading us to "know" that marriage equals happily ever after.
Either way, we're often in denial.
Doing that double take, asking whether this is really what we want from our relationships, is often more than we are willing to do, but when we do it, we find ourselves able to take the steps to end what we do not really want to continue.
I commend you on your courage and wish you the very best.
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